Change Proof: Leveraging the Power of Uncertainty to Build Long-term Resilience, 1st edition
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Imagine it’s 1981. You’re on a bus out of Queens, headed east on the Long Island Expressway. It’s smack dab in the middle of a heat wave in the hottest week of the summer. The air-conditioning of this rolling crate gave up years ago, and the windows are forever stuck closed. You’re only 10 minutes into the ride, and you’d give your right arm to feel even the slightest bit of a breeze. If the neighborhood pool were ever open you’d be there, but it’s been closed all summer.
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Like the rip current, everything in life isn’t always going to go according to plan. No matter how well-manicured your plans, they are going to change.
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Every time you’ve got someone else’s back, you build up more and more resilience for yourself.
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To pause is counterintuitive, but necessary because that’s how you reset the space where you’re making change as opposed to change making you. CHANGE-PROOF POINTTo pause is counterintuitive, but necessary because that’s how you reset the space where you’re making change as opposed to change making you. The ask is where you reframe the opportunity to ride the wave of change instead of fighting it. The choose is where you ritualize your recovery for higher performance in the future.
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In the next section we’ll learn more about change-proof resilience, what it is, and how it’s integrated into the four most important realms of our human experience.
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The companies and businesses that survive have leaders who model the kind of resilience that makes them change proof. They are undaunted by events and so by extension are the companies that they lead. None of the 14 markers of resilience are genetic predispositions; they’re practical, actionable steps you can take to build resilience before you know you need it.
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When you replace the word balance with the concept of harmony, you rid yourself of the quest for perfection and can flow with change.
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The quest for balance is static and keeps you seeking some mythical perfect state, but harmony is dynamic and allows you to assimilate events as they come.
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o you remember opening your first bank account? Maybe you had a little wad of birthday bills and checks. You went with your dad, mom, or the adult you trusted the most down to the local branch. The fluorescent lighting. It was bright and dim all at the same time. The velvet quiet. That smell of metal and paper was intoxicating. That giant vault at that bank that looked like something out of an old cowboy movie. That ancient scale in the corner.
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Since you were drawn to this book, chances are you’re searching for your own resilience. Moreover, if you’re searching for your own resilience, then you’re probably looking for how your organization can be resilient too. It’s a truism that resilient leaders have resilient organizations. The crew survives if the captain of the ship knows how to navigate through stormy seas. Turns out that the sea itself can teach our organizations how to be resiliently change proof.
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To be resiliently change proof you must be consciously aware of your emotions as well as those of your people. You may not like it or feel ready, but their emotions are your responsibility.
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If you want to be change proof—you can pause. You can recover. But the first step is you have to be honest with yourself. Even if you’re a leader, you have to say, “I’m burned out. I need to change.” That’s when people can really help you.
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This entire section could just be this simple six-word sentence: Sled dogs pause before they’re tired. If you take away one thing, let it be that simple fact. But as we’ll come to find out, they don’t pause themselves. They can’t. It’s not in their nature, so it has to be done for them. That’s what we need to do for our physical selves.
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If you have your values in place and you’re asking why questions early on, then all your how questions will be coming from the right place.
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What’s the phrase from when we were kids? “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” You remember that little sing-song rhyme we’d have to deploy against our bullies and their relentless name calling? For a million years, if our earliest ancestors of the Homo sapiens variety wanted to eat, then sticks and stones were all they had. That’s why they climbed down out of the trees and began to run.
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We need to pause. Sit with them. See them as though somebody else is thinking them. That stops the flood of thoughts. Then we need to ask ourselves the questions that interrogate and reframe self-defeated beliefs. Finally, we’ll choose useful thoughts that transform into a new set of proactive beliefs that will lead us to take empowering steps forward on the road to lifelong resilience. New beliefs, new actions, long-term growth. That’s the key to becoming mentally change proof.
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If you want to survive as an organization for the long haul, you have to be able to dispute some of the foundational beliefs that made you who you are.
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Surfers don’t fall off a wave and go home. They get back on the board and keep looking for the next wave.
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If you’re looking at your teams or your organization, how do you change the mind of the collection of people that make the product you’re selling? You have to create space, because space becomes creative and we choose that space with our minds. The questions that leaders have to ask of themselves and their organizations is, “How do we choose mentally? Can we change our minds?”
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Money can’t buy you happiness, but happiness won’t buy you more happiness, either. The change-proof mindset says, “My emotions and my feelings have the power to change my reality on a moment-by-moment basis.”
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To be change proof, you have to go from being consumers to becoming creators. To do that, you need to spend time with yourself and your feelings every single day. Without fail.
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The 3-4 method of breathing in, holding for 10 seconds, and breathing out is a simple way to let go of feelings that hinder us from our growth potential.
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The bubbles in your lives are the simple moments that pull you out of the deep water of dark feelings and moods. Make a list of the bubbles you saw today and be grateful for them. I guarantee you’ll feel yourself taking a deep, refreshing breath and facing the future with joy and peace.
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If you’re calm, then spread that calm like a virus.
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As a business leader you know full well that your day often begins before you’re even awake. The night before, sleep, when it came, came at the expense of all the worries, thoughts, and problems spinning through your head. Your dreams are full of the data dumping of that process, so when the alarm goes off, you’re instantly thinking of those very things because you really never stopped. And then your day is just one thing after another. Until the night.
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The leaders of tomorrow are transparent today. Don’t hide from your weaknesses, seek them and you’ll find them eventually becoming your strengths.
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Every relationship, be it love, friendship, or professional, must be based on a shared purpose that has you pulling in the same direction.
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Our spirit does not belong to us: it belongs to the world around us, so we have to see ourselves as a piece of a much larger puzzle.
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Do the Code of Conduct for your organization the same way you perform it for yourself to experience and create a cultural harmony.
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Presence leads to peace. Get present with the people around you, and you’ll experience the peace that will allow you to be change proof.
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Think of the five positive thoughts as five lifeguards who will rescue you from the one negative thought. Thanks to Lisa, when you do that, you’ll see opportunities instead of obstacles.
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Find at least one person every day that you can express gratitude to and for, and you will end up being grateful for the place you are in your own journey.
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There’s no quick, easy fix to becoming change proof, because it’s a lifelong journey with peaks and valleys, twists and turns, rained-out paths and rocky footing.
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Epilogue
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Resources for Building a Change-Proof Culture
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Edition: 1st
ISBN: 9781264258987
Publisher: McGraw Hill Professional
Published: January 31, 2022
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Preface
PART I Choose Change Before It Chooses You
CHAPTER 1 How Change Changes Things—and What to Do About It: Making Friends with Change
CHAPTER 2 Got Your Back: Lifeguard Lessons
CHAPTER 3 The Change-Proof Model: Pause, Ask, ChoosePART II
PART II Becoming Change Proof
CHAPTER 4 The Power of Choice: Leveraging Your Relationship to Change and Stress
CHAPTER 5 The Markers of Resilience
CHAPTER 6 The Myth of Balance
CHAPTER 7 Harmony
CHAPTER 8 The Resilience Bank Account
CHAPTER 9 Resilient Organizations
CHAPTER 10 Left Brain Resilience
PART III Change-Proof Hardware
CHAPTER 11 Recovery Versus Burnout
CHAPTER 12 Recover Before It’s Too Late
CHAPTER 13 Even Michael Jordan Paused
CHAPTER 14 Outperforming Challenges
CHAPTER 15 Get out of Your Head
CHAPTER 16 Mindset Recalibration
CHAPTER 17 Disputing Irrational Beliefs
CHAPTER 18 A Little Failure Goes a Long Way
PART IV Change-Proof Software
CHAPTER 19 Happiness Doesn’t Deliver Resilience
CHAPTER 20 Are You Emotionally Agile?
CHAPTER 21 The 3-4 Method
CHAPTER 22 Follow the Bubbles
CHAPTER 23 Calm Is Contagious
CHAPTER 24 Resilience Is a Choice
CHAPTER 25 The Myth of Authenticity
CHAPTER 26 “We’ll Figure It Out”
CHAPTER 27 Self-Disruption Versus Stagnation: The Toothbrush Test
CHAPTER 28 What Change-Proof Culture Can Do for You
CHAPTER 29 Connecting with Others Connects You with You
CHAPTER 30 Breakthrough Without a Breakdown
CHAPTER 31 Leverage Uncertainty
CHAPTER 32 The Mystery of Death
Epilogue Imagining the Future
Resources for Building a Change-Proof Culture
Acknowledgments
Index
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